Today I did something that I wasn’t proud of, it was something very small but it left an impact on me.
I work in Brisbane’s CBD and I went to buy a birthday cake from Dello Mano in Tattersall’s Arcade (Brisbane’s best cakes and brownies – trust me!) for our morning tea celebration in our office.
Outside the Apple Store there was a quadriplegic man raising money, or asking for donations – I wasn’t so sure, I couldn’t see what was on the box.
I felt incredibly sad when I saw him and embarrassed as my husband and I are going through a very difficult time financially. I avoided eye contact and walked a few metres to the lights to cross the road. When I stopped at the lights, I thought to myself “hang on that’s not right” so I opened my wallet to see what I had. I normally carry zero cash as it’s rare that I have money to withdraw (true story!). When I opened my wallet I saw I had $2.50 but I also had $50 for the birthday cake. I know he saw the money but I couldn’t explain that it was for work as I was already so embarrassed for the awful thing I did – maybe he didn’t notice my actions as it is such a normal response for him. But I did – I was upset with myself. Like most average Australian families, we try and donate what we can to charities but it is very deflating when you don’t have much to give someone who seems to need it more than you. It leaves you with a helpless feeling.
There are so many things we take for granted in life, clean air, fresh water, people to love, safety, health, a job, legs to walk – I could go on.
I just want to say that I am thankful for what I have and it is a shame that sometimes in order to gain perspective it takes a bad situation or to see someone worse off than you to realise it. It’s a shame that is what it takes – I feel that it is a selfish practice.
Have you done something small recently that you were not proud of? Perhaps it was something big. Did you recognise it in an instant, or did you need time to reflect on your actions?
Did you apologise, or was there no need?
I’d love to hear!
Please share your experiences below.