I know it can get crazy as Christmas approaches, the kids are finishing up at school, there are concerts, games, parties and all the admin you must do before the year ends.
As parents, not only mums, life is crazy. I get it, I’m just in bed now recovering from a cold that I hope to get over before Christmas arrives.
Despite how busy life gets, there is something that we must do and that is to keep the lines of communication open with our partners and do not forget about sharing some intimacy. Whoever you are doing, or not doing it with at Christmas, maybe it’s just yourself – don’t forget that you deserve a break and some fun.
I know too well how after serious illness (and just life in general) your sex life can take a dive. The same thing happens when you have children. The never ending piles of washing, the mental load – bills and you blink and the person you fell in love with feels so alien to you. That feeling you once had for that person is lost, perhaps hiding in that washing!
As you are reading this, I want you to think of a time where you felt absolute elation and joy with your partner? Think about it, then text them about it. It doesn’t have to be sexual, it can just be a moment in time where you just felt so happy and wrapped up in their love.
I can almost guarantee that your partner will read it and have a smile. They will also think of that time.
Now think about where you are now. Are you having enough time to share love and intimacy? If not, make sure you do this Christmas. Make sure that you share your thoughts and feelings with your partner – your desires.
Write a list of the top 5 things you want from your partnership and get your partner to do the same. Then share it – hopefully, with a bit of luck and familiarity there will be some overlap.
If one of the things you want in your partnership is to have more intimacy, then do it. The thing is, we all can get shy but it is important to feel comfortable and safe to share your feelings and if not, then maybe it’s time to see someone like a relationship psychologist.
We all had a time where we could not keep our hands of our partners and could not wait to get them alone. Make sure this Christmas that instead of spending money on grand gestures that you give your partner the gift of touch. It can be a hug, kiss on the cheek, a whisper or a back rub. As humans we crave physical contact – it does not have to lead to anything more, but it is a gentle reminder that your partner is wanted. The same goes for you too, make sure that you are receiving wanted physical contact.
With the endless lists of things to do – sometimes sex feels like a chore. It shouldn’t be but sometimes it does need to be scheduled in. The same way if you’re alone this Christmas – make sure you schedule some time for some self-love. Ladies and gentlemen, I think you know what I mean 😉